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Every invention has its positives and negatives. Satellite TV, films with awesome special effects, iPods that bring music direct-to-the-ear and cell phones with near-magical facilities have caused a veritable revolution in connectivity in India in the past few years. While technology has propelled turbo-speed progress and brought unprecedented achievement opportunities into our lives, these contraptions have also spawned a sexual revolution among India's youth! I recently had the privilege of visiting several rural areas of a south Indian state. Still wrapped in the blanket of an old world charm, the villages I visited had their decorative heritage temples or town squares at the heart of their social and business life. But away from the hub, there was a distinctly visible change in these hitherto conservative rural strongholds. In every nook and corner of the town, there were couples smooching away to glory. Strangely, even young girls in burquas could be seen under trees or in college compounds with their boyfriends, seeking a romantic hiatus away from their classes or workplaces. This is not surprising. What happens in our metros and cities, sooner or later, begins to percolate to the fast-changing small towns and rural regions. There are many interesting reasons for the fast-spreading sexual revolution among Indian youth of every community. The first reason is the nature of our population - more than 65 per cent of Indians are under the age of 35, which, by any standards, is the most sexually active age in human life. All such young people - rich, middle class or even poor - can now access some sort of technology through their cell phones and other gizmos. Many teenagers who are in school, have access to a computer at some point of their education. Additionally, they can see hundreds of channels from various countries on satellite TV every day. Add to this that young people today have an uncanny familiarity with technology and an insatiable curiosity not only about their fast changing world but also their own sexual awakening and you have an unbeatable combination. Secondly, the gizmos that young people can access today with ease give them a rare quality of privacy and freedom. Their natural sexual curiosity leads them to access an incredible amount of porn or sexual material on the Internet, in the media through sex columns and explicit photographs, through the cell phone and some channels on TV. Most of these can be accessed without any supervision from the family at any time of the day. In nuclear families where the parents are busy in building their professional or social life, this freedom from supervision is almost complete. Take the case of Neela Tantia who owns an ad and graphic design agency. Mother of a teenaged daughter and son, she has no time to look after their homework or their social life because she works until 9 pm every night. "I have to support the family because my husband is ill and cannot work," say says, "With more money, I can give them everything they want. My contact with them is almost completely through the cell phone. I track them to school or college and know when they are back. But often I find that my daughter is not home even though she says she is and that's when alarm bells ring. I once went home without telling her and found her with her boyfriend in our home. They were kissing and smooching passionately! My shocked expression brought only fear, but not regret to her face. I am sure there are many parents like me who need to work long hours away from their children and this is a frightening situation. Our children are living in a society that is changing its norms on sex - premarital, experimental and so on. Children are exposed to sexual material long before they even enter their teens. My 8-year-old nephew reads the triple X-rated sex advice in a prominent national daily every morning and is conversant with all details of the sex act and its variations which a doctor explains very explicitly. With the gradual collapse of our earlier conservatism, most families understand that teens will be interested in sex and even accept boyfriends and girlfriends as an integral part of the youth of their children. They know that in colleges and workplaces, young people get into 'relationships' - with or without the knowledge of their families - and insist on the 'freedom to lead their own lives'. Many young people today do not believe in commitment and say that experimenting before 'settling down' is absolutely necessary." "Sex among college students or young colleagues in offices is definitely on the rise," confirms Dr. Sandip Mahadik, a young gynecologist, "Today's young people read sex magazines, see explicit pictures in the media or porno films and videos and get free advice on contraception. We have come to a point when we turn the other way as long as sex happens between two consenting adults - never mind that they are hiding this from their families, cheating their legal partners or taking a risk of contracting HIV. Multiple partners not only for boys, but also for girls are becoming acceptable, if only because parents or teachers have no control over the situation. Anyway, they are kept in the dark most of the time. Explicit advice is given to young people on the use of various 72 hour pills to avoid pregnancy or contraceptive pills for a long term relationship. Constant fears of men and women about not getting 'satisfaction' are expressed in the media with advice on how precisely to achieve that satisfaction. Additionally, would-be-brides - who have had sexual experience but who want to pose as virgins, can approach surgeons to perform the hymenoplasty to do a repair job. So the situation is ripe for a sexual revolution from all accounts." Thirdly, with more money in middle class families than ever before, young people have free access to smoking, drugs and alcohol on a routine basis. Children are allowed late nights and given the family's vehicles to go to parties or discos. No longer are girls and boys segregated in any activity in schools, colleges or workplaces. They work or study late nights or go on outdoor assignments or transfers routinely and opportunities for young couples to spend 'quality time' together are abundant. Parents today can neither forbid their wards from travelling with young people of the opposite sex nor stop them from living away from home for education or work. Many young people working away from their hometowns share metro city accommodation to save money and the dazzling freedom of metro life often sucks them into 'party hard and enjoy' life of young India very quickly. Again, parents and families are the last ones to know about the clandestine activities of their young ones. Equal education and high earning opportunities have made young women believe that 'what boys can do, we can do better!' and this also propels them to seek sexual experiences if only because of curiosity and the temptation of being accepted as 'one of the group'. Peer pressure is huge and it is difficult to pose as a 'moral person' in the current scenario. "Today, this lifestyle of partying and enjoying life reaches every nook and corner of India," says Renu Kochar, a social activist among sex workers, "Every small town has an Internet café and cell phones and youngsters spend a good deal of time seeing porno films or clips. Today, even well-known national papers and magazines as well as televised events show celebrities and stars dressed so scantily in the name of glamour, that Mayank Shekhar, the Times of India columnist, wrote after overhearing a conversation at a preview, 'If such beautiful, under-dressed women came to the home town of a small-time distributor in Bihar or Uttar Pradesh, there would surely be a 'bawal' and guns would come out. Most certainly, such girls would be taken away." This is not far from reality. Political goons, gangsters, men on the hunt for sex victims and small time criminals kidnap girls routinely, saying that 'they invite rape with their gestures and skimpy clothes'. "Freedom of sex is all very well," says Kunda Wahia, a counselor, "But all reports show that most men still remain barbarians where sexual behaviour is concerned. There are reports every day that women are not safe anywhere. We keep boasting about our globalization and bouncing economy, but the status of our women is becoming worse and worse. Girl children are not safe in their mothers' wombs! Women are not safe in colleges, schools or even workplaces. Molestation cases are growing every day. Female abuse, threatening calls, hidden cameras to film porno videos, porno pix and explicit sex info - all these are everyday events. Casting couches are common with so many women wanting to rush into the entertainment industry. On the one hand, our society is using every excuse to accept and promote the free sex scenario. But on the other hand, it looks the other way when innumerable forced sex, molestation or rape episodes and sex crimes happen. We accept that both male and female models, stars and celebrities should show off their bodies until there is nothing more left to show. We accept that such images will influence the young to not only sculpt their bodies but also expose it in fanciful ways. But we cringe with pain when our sons and daughters join the 'free sex' brigade in front of our eyes. Parents, fearing the epithet of 'moral police', turn away from whatever their children do and the children, not wanting to hurt their parents, hide everything from them in most cases until it too late. However, we still live in a society which upholds the sanctity of a marriage and looks askance at a public display of illicit sexual relations between people in high positions or icons whose achievements are awesome. We still applaud and admire people who are hugely successful and lead a value-based life. |
