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ANTI-AGEING STRATERGIES

TURNING ILLNESS INTO WELLNESS

WHISPERS & CRIES IN FILMDOM FOR FAME GOING INTERNATIONAL ON HIPS & TIPS

When Ingmar Bergman made his "Cries & Whispers" he never knew that a small reversal of words would stretch it from Sweden to India , Mumbai and its sea-link Bollywood. All it needed was a hybrid slant for the whisper to become a cry.

Aamir began the trend with Rachel Shelly in "Lagaan"

A foreign actress Barbara Mori joining Hrithik Roshan for a local "Dirty Dancing" (poor Patrick Sw.), named as "Kites" , at once becomes a hot romance with sexy poses.

There follow whispers of wife Suzanne (Sanjay Khan's daughter) becoming angry and envious, aided by boo boo cries. So the real-life couple has to go for a holiday amply trumpeted by the Press agent, hanging around media networks. Shoot resumed, there are again cries of an affair.

So, pa Rakesh Roshan has to step in and confess that it was all a stunt gimmick and 'normal' too for every new release. If papa and grandpa, the dignified composer Roshan, had been alive, he would have spanked all of them.

Foreign females not finding work in their own countries have set a new trend of accepting small roles and making Bollywood their 'rein basera' night shelter. Giselli Monteiro did a timid Punjabi sidey to Saif and Deepika for "Love Aaj Kal" and so she was not given any dialogue to speak. Any less employed Indian actress could have got that role. And then Brazilian Giselli was hardly spotted as a foreigner in the film. So why? Super model Naomi Campbell coming in "Karma Aur Holi" was the worst, especially opp. Sushmita Sen, Miss Universe.

Hrithik Roshan.. a sensation with Barbara Mori during KITES

The Yankee girl in "Aloo Chaat" was cast very well as a normal American putting on an act. Poor Lisa Ray, now fighting against cancer, also did a worthy job in Deepa Mehta's "Water" , despite miscasting. But going too far was inviting Russian ballerina Ryabinkina whom Raj Kapoor had kissed years ago in "Mera Naam Joker" . The 70 year old had to play do-gooder to son Rishi Kapoor in "Chintuji" doing an auto-bio role. And poor dame has to come all the way for that?

Forthcoming "Veer" , Salman Khan's big blah over which he crossed swords and daggers with director Anil Sharma. (of the superhit "Gadar" ) has another foreign model, Miss U.K. Liza Lazarus. She plays a damsel in jungle distress, to rescue whom Salman becomes Samson for a lion-fight, with the aid of duplicates on location abroad. Don't say that he can't do it with his 'bare hands', else he goes wild, like Dharamji at the time of "Kartavya" . Cheer up boys, even Cecil B De Mille used a dummy lion in close-ups for Victor Mature in "Samson & Delilah" .

Salman flopped with Ali Larter but chased other foreign dames.

Katrina Kaif the Hongkong invader is not the pioneer of 'Videshi' beauties. Kishore Sahu did it long back with Odette Fergussion in "Mayurpankh" . In the silent era sardarji Suchet Singh turned Dorothy kingdom into "Shakuntala" . Ezra Mir and Sohrab Modi did it. And even Bimal Roy brought Lillian.

In our present times, Aamir Khan set the tri-angle trend with Rachel Shelley in "Lagaan" . Our heroes have to show proudly that they are loved by a foreigner as well as an Indian. Salman having failed in "Marigold" got too close and loverly to Claudia Ciesla in a promo affair, for one of the "Karma" type flops. Rakesh Mehra put Alice Patten as a docu-maker and mute admirer of Aamir Khan for "Rang de Basanti" , where he was propped up as a modern Bhagat Singh, not killing foreign oppressors but our own country-men like cops, to expose a scam on radio. Akshay Kumar in "Kambakht Ishq" showed his punches with Denise Richards, who wore a much more daring swim-suit than Esther Williams in "Million Dollar Mermaid" , which showed the first ever American court case against the bikini.

No wonder foreignish film titles are also over-running our filmdom. From "Miss India " or "Mr & Mrs 55" we have come to "Life Partner" and "Bachelor Party" (taking up from "Hangover"). Now brace yourself for "3 Idiots" "Chargesheet" "Action Replay" "All the Best" "Blue" "My Name is Khan" etc etc etc.

Then why not we have 'Citizen Bachchan', 'Breakfast at Barrista', 'Birth of a Bride', 'Robin Dude', 'Tweet Sweet Shashi', 'We Met in Mall', 'Phantom of Opera House', 'Dr. Yes', 'Mad Mad Mad Film World', 'Magnificent Men In Killing Machines', 'Sea-Link Romance', 'Science from a Punjabi Wedding', 'Jet Strike', 'King & Kong Star', "Demons of Oz", 'The Banglorean Job', 'All about them', 'How to Marry A seamster', 'Ladies Prefer Baldies', 'Not Old for Lover', 'How to paint & print 100 crores', 'Agriculture', 'Murder at Tallest Tower', 'Rew up Kid', 'Go Reverse', 'Mouse-Net', 'On Top of Lap', 'S.M.S.', 'Sea-mail to E-mail', 'India Blushing', 'Ash Tray', 'Go So Bo', and of course 'Fantastic'

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