I hear that Bipasha's flat is being renovated. So for the time being she has moved in with John. But she has left her darling pooch Posto with her parents.

You see, Bips cannot risk taking Posto to John's place. The doggie is house-broken but supposed to be so jealous of John, he just might want to break up the house.

And oh, by the way, it just so happens that Bipasha's favourite sportsman Vijendra Singh is in town these days to do a Bollywood film.

As you know, Vijendra has done us proud as on Olympic boxing champ. He is a boxer not a wrestler. But he is such a handsome hunk, now our heroines are out to do him proud by wrestling with him.

But then, so what is now?

Once upon a time our heroines could not wait to wrestle with Dara Singh either.

So what has changed over the years in Bollywood? Well, let me see….

Ok, in the past a Bollywood heroine was considered to be attractive if she had long, dark, luxuriant hair. So long, it fell nearly to the floor.

But today when a heroine's hair falls to the floor, she simply picks up the wig and puts it back on her head.

Actually today even Bollywood men are going for the wig or toupee. Because the baldy look is out. And a crow's nest on the head is in.

There is a music director whose head is so dry, even cactus refused to grow on his head. But just look at him now. Wow, suddenly he has a headful of glorious, wavy hair.

And there is an actor whose hair used to be so wavy, it was always waving bye-bye and falling off.

But today he enjoys not only a crowning glory but also such a bumper crop of body hair, I am sure even Wolverine and the abominable snowman would envy him.

Ah yes, the popular image of the abominable snowman is that he is quite a hairy-scary dude.

But no matter how hairy he might be, I don't find him scary at all.

After all, he is just a shy, harmless hermit who does not bother anyone. He keeps to himself, minds his own business and hangs out only in the remotest parts of the Himalayan mountain range.

In other words, the abominable snowman is anything but abominable. But I am afraid the same cannot be said for the abominable showmen of our Bollywood.

Now these guys can be real spooky.

No wonder they are in the news from time to time for their cultural and refined pursuits: poaching or drunk driving, game hunting or dame hunting, taking drugs or taking advantage of the maid.

Yes, no wonder an actor is the talk of the town these days because his maid blew the whistles on him.

Ugh, how creepy is it when a maid finds her employer (a film star) creeping up on her while they are alone in his snazzy flat?

OK, so this dude got caught (or nicely framed by the maid). But others get away with murder and God knows what else. The reason is public relations.

No matter what they do and with whom they have relations, out Bollywood creeps make sure of one thing: that certain relations should never become public.

The other day a journo asked an actor's wife: ‘Have you ever caught your hubby flirting with the maid?'

The wife replied: ‘How do you think I caught such a hubby in the first place!'

No, abominable showmen are not the exclusive property of Bollywood alone.

Hollywood has its own share of dudes who may be subdued but you never know when they will freak out.

Like Mel Gibson, who has been lately performing quite a one-man circus in public.

They say you are known by the company you keep. Correct. And Mel has been spending a lot of quality time in the classy company of Johnny Walker, Jack Daniel and Dom Perignon.

Ah ha, so now you know where this great actor finds the inspiration for his staggering performances.

You know, the good thing about alcohol is that it does not make you fat. It makes you lean. So much so, you lean on everything from walls to furniture to friends.

But despite his drinking, Mel remains such a hugely popular film star; he is mobbed and held up by fans everywhere.

Well, actually his fans have to hold him up. So he does not fall on his face.

Anyway, this monsoon it will be raining vintage wine and Hollywood stars in India . Julia, Angelina, Sharon Stone, Silvester Stallone, Daniel Craig… they are all headed here.

Actually Daniel Craig should be playing Germs Bond and heading for Australia to combat the swine-flu virus which is turning those lovable kangaroos into such nasty racist pigs.